“More Like Her” by Miranda Lambert
First and foremost, Miranda Lambert is my spirit animal. She embodies what I would have developed into if I had been born in the South and with musical talent. Alas, Fate had other plans for me.
Dating in the BYU culture was a miserable experience for me. Expectations for women to portray themselves a certain way to be desirable clashed violently with my emerging identity formation. Because I didn’t fit a particular mold, I became cast-typed as the “Wild Child” who was sassy and opinionated and refreshing but threatening all at the same time. I was branded as a girl with an expiration date of acceptability: you could have your fun but you sure as Hell weren’t going to bring her home to your mom. There were other girls who were feminine, soft-spoken, kind, accompanied by a pink fuzzy glow that proclaimed, “I could be the mother of your future children.” These were the girls that ended up with the diamond rings, after their guys had seen the light by dating me.
As a result, I spent a lot of time struggling with the idea of “being loveable,” frequently feeling unacceptable and therefore unworthy of long-lasting relationships. After I left the college setting I was able to come to terms with who I am: not “unlovable” but instead “not someone everyone knows how to love.”
This song taps into this sensitive time of my life. Broken down into simple lyrics and a simple melody, Miranda communicates a tender side of this usually guarded and misunderstood woman. She sings the statement my younger self would so often think upon meeting the wives of my former exes: I guess I should have been more like her.
She’s beautiful in her simple little way
She don’t have too much to say when she gets mad
She understands, she don’t let go of anything
Even when the pain gets really bad
Guess I should’ve been more like that
You took a chance on a bruised and beaten heart
Then you realized you wanted what you had
I guess I should have been more like that
I should have held on to my pride
I should have never let you lie
I guess you got what you deserved
I guess I should’ve been more like her